We love to travel and explore new territory, and we have ventured down some mighty treacherous roads in our travels.  The same has been true for building our relationship as well.  In recent years, our friends and even people just crossing our path have made positive comments and been fascinated by our relationship.  We find this fun and amusing, at times, because prior to April first 2000 it was an entirely different story. No, we aren't fooling, even if it was April Fools Day when we tentatively took those first steps down the road marked power exchange.  Before this it wasn't always pretty between us and of course it still isn't always smooth, but the energetic shift between us has been dramatic and noticeable.  People seem attracted to that energy.  We've been told they can simply "feel" the connection we have with each other, and it captivates them.  What is it that has created this magic connection?  What elements are in our relationship now that didn't exist before?  What does it take to build a solid, long term Master/slave relationship?  Here is some of what we have discovered as we have traveled this road.

Building any relationship is a sacred and holy undertaking whether we actively acknowledge the influence of the spiritual in our life or not.  Living as a Master and slave has made us more aware of this sacred flow between and around us. And the mutual sharing of our spiritual path and nurturing of this Spiritual Connection has provided a way to understand each other and our selves more fully.  We feel this knowledge has been critically important to nurturing a thriving Master/slave relationship.

It takes Time to develop a spiritual bond and authentic relationship and it takes more time to keep it alive and flourishing.  Simple as it seems we've found spending time together, sharing experiences and just talking is vitally important and too often when life gets hectic it is sadly the first area that gets encroached on.  We've discovered we need to be conscientious about carving out focused time for each other and the structure that a Master/slave life requires helps to ensure we keep this priority front and center. 

Communication, communication, communication and yes, we have all heard it before.  The problem is that talk, talk, talking does not equal communication.  Too often our ego, our triggers, our projections, our habitual thinking and self-talk, and defensiveness interferes with our ability to listen and understand.  We noticed as we began to implement our Master/slave life our level of communication dramatically improved and correspondently our understanding and trust in each other expanded exponentially. 

Trust grows where responsibility, consistency, and honesty in intent and action are valued.  Transparency, that is being psychologically naked and totally revealing, both builds trust and is the result of trust.  Masters require and expect transparency of the slave, for a Master's ownership is limited without the benefit of full transparency, but what of the Master?   A Master knows that transparency builds trust and understanding, which facilitates our slaves ability to serve well and surrender totally so it follows that choosing to lead by being transparent ourselves nurtures the relationship.

The Master and slave must both be willing to give of themselves. Service flows in both directions.  While it may look very different and be more apparent that the slave is in service to the Master, clearly the Master through his responsible ownership, leadership, and direction also serves the needs of the slave and the relationship as a whole.
 
Our Master/slave relationship has opened us to experiencing Radical Intimacy.   Intimacy that both blurs the boundaries between self and other and celebrates, respects, and honors the "Otherness" that is our compliment.  Intimacy that is as familiar and comfortable as our favorite pair of faded threadbare jeans and as new and breathtaking as an intoxicating sunset. Intimacy, which includes our deepest vulnerabilities, our joys and sadness, our playful spirits and our most dreaded fears and secrets. 

Control and Surrender are at the heart and center of our Master/slave path and are the two elements that most define our relationship as Master/slave as opposed to some other style of relating.  The outward expression of these internally felt states may be found in the heart-centered obedience of the slave to the Masters requirements, in the challenge of being taken beyond ones perceived edges, in the attention to simple daily routines approached with mindfulness and presence, in the practice of relevant protocol and ritual, and in the slave aligning fully with the Master's vision and mission.
     
Living ones truth from a place of Integrity and authenticity is the surest path we know of to creating a fulfilling life.  The disapproval and frowns of others and being misunderstood and held at a distance for choosing a life too out of step with the standard choices, pales in the light of living our life honestly and in alignment with our deepest core truths.  Creating our bonds from this place of authenticity forges a deeply rewarding and meaningful relationship. We return to the words of the poet, Robert Frost, who unknowingly summed up with great and perfect simplicity what it is like to follow the Master/slave path: